PEARL HARBOR
Released: May 25, 2001
Director Michael Bay strikes again, with a virtual carbon copy of his "Armageddon" flick in 1998. This time, instead of a huge asteroid heading straight for Earth we are given the generic "evil Japanese" in the "bad guy" role. Instead of Bruce Willis we are given a pudgy Alec Baldwin. Instead of a young Ben Affleck we are given a slightly older and still generic Ben Affleck. Instead of Liv Tyler we are given the lovely Kate Beckinsale. Returning from the earlier film is the typically cornball dialogue and tedious slow motion, soft-focused "effects". While dumbing down the order of events so Americans can understand the basics of their own history, Bay succeeds in using brilliant special effects to visualize just how well the Japanese whooped the ass of the US of A. I suppose it must be kewl to now see in graphic detail Americans getting slaughtered in mass quantities. But the Americans aren't broken, so they decide to battle the asteroid, er... the Japanese... by attacking Tokyo. Since it's a Michael Bay film, it's a forgone conclusion that Ben Affleck will singlehandedly save the day, with many corny, contrived lines of dialogue thrown in at seemingly calculated intervals. The love triangle involving Affleck, Beckinsale and newcomer Josh Hartnett ("Here On Earth") is given WAY too much screen time, even at the expense of dragging this rumored $140 million production to the three hour plus length. Support from Jon Voight, Dan Ackroyd, Cuba Gooding Jr., Mako and Tom Sizemore is all very good from a perfomance point of view but non of the characters, even the leads, are fleshed out beyond an embarrassing stereotype. Written by the guy who wrote "Braveheart", Randall Wallace - but without the heart from that film. It's Jerry Bruckheimer by the numbers, and very expensively too. Too bad it's not good enough to be memorable... "Coyote Ugly" was better even...
185 Minutes
Touchstone/Buena Vista