STAR WARS: EPISODE II - ATTACK OF THE CLONES
Released: May 16, 2002
Less Jar Jar this time... That is why I decided to give this fifth film (but second in the series) a chance. Rather than go into all the geek "Star Wars" analysis, I'll just say that this is a huge improvement on "Episode One", which I thought was boring and just plain silly. This new episode is still rather silly and includes a lot of stilted dialogue phoned in from a bunch of varying A and B grade actors. George Lucas succeeds here in "Episode Two" by giving us more to give a fuck about, even if it is a heartless romance between leads Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman. The most amazing thing about this movie is not that it was shot digitally - who really gives a turd about that - but rather than it looks so damn pretty. The actors are CGI-ed into beautiful worlds that Lucas created on his computer. That he was so successful at marrying live action with artist's renderings is the real "star" of this flick. I forgot any semblence of a plot right after the credits rolled and I have no desire to see it again but for the 2 hours plus I was in the theatre, I DID enjoy myself. The ending seemed rather abrupt, like all "Star Wars" movies, but I suspect that is what Lucas wanted based on the idea it's fashioned on the premise each episode is like a serial from the 40s, leaving you with a cliffhanger every episode. For me however, the suspence is wasted because since I don't care enough about the storyline so I can't be bothered to wait 2 or three years for the next episode keeping track of what's happening. Like I said, less Jar Jar improved this movie instantly but overall I did enjoy it. Much better than "Episode One" but not quite as memorable as any of the 70s and 80s "Star Wars" flicks... This film has about as much charisma as my penis (in humidity).
20th Century Fox
120 Minutes